The Flying Kiwi: Norway: NOW!

Q: What will be certain to upset your biological rhythms more than a 14hour flight from New York to Dubai?

A: Working in Economy Class on a 14hour flight from New York to Dubai, then, jumping on another plethora of jet propelled journies to London and onwards to Oslo, finally ending up in Bergen over 30hours after setting off.

As Cabin Crew, we often do silly things. We often subject our bodies to stupid amounts of not-so-healthy cabin pressure. We often pickle our internal organs to within an inch of their once-very-capable lives. We do things that others look at and are convinced we are barking mad. Sometimes I look at myself and wonder the same thing. But few people can walk away at the end of a year and can cross off as many destinations on the World Map as what an International Flight Attendant can. No, our job is not glamorous at all. No, we don't get to be there for every Christmas and Birthday. No, it is not easy to smile at 03:47am when you have served the last Chicken Vindaloo and all you have left to offer is what is supposed to resemble Lamb Korma and you still have half a cabin of more-than-likely vegetarians to feed. But yes, we are very lucky to have the availability of strings of days off between duties, and access to ridiculously cheap air travel on virtually every airline around the world.

As part of my birthday present this year, I was treated, by Adrian, to a holiday in Scandanavian Paradise. Neither of us had ventured to home of the Vikings, and so it was decided that a mini-break to Nordic Norway was on the cards. However, to acheive this, I would have to endure the aforementioned travel plan above to be able to best utilise my available time.

Flying with Emirates to London, I met up with Adrian at Terminal 3. He had been lucky enough to have had one additional day off, and so had travelled earlier to stay with our great friends Nick and Seán who live just next to Windsor. Knowing that our chosen flights were 'wide open' (meaning that there were plenty of unbooked seats for standby staff travellers to use), I could be carefree knowing that our holiday wasn't going to be spent waiting around standby counters for the final moments hoping to be given a boarding pass. Connecting onto SAS (Scandanavian Air Systems) to Oslo and then to Bergen in Western Norway we arrived, a little jaded, but excited to begin our adventure in this Flying Kiwi's uncharted territory.

Bergen is Norway's 2nd largest city, and is an historic 15th Century fishing town at the bottom of the South Western Fjord region. It is home to a population of 231,000 people and these people fight for it to be honoured as Norway's most beautiful city. They wouldn't be considered wrong when they were telling the world that, yes, indeed, they do have a very lovely place to call home. The only issue that they have is that it rains, on average, for 275 days of the year. Upon arrival at the airport, we innocently headed over to the airport express bus service into the city, and began to load our bags into the compartment underneath for the luggage. Hilda*, the living viking bus driver, came barrelling out of the front seat, hurling all sorts of Norwegian profanities to a bewildered couple of fresh-off-the-boat (or plane) New Zealanders (us). We stood, looking at each other in shock, a little amused, wondering why we were being abused, for what may have only been because she had lost 30 seconds (at the most) from her scheduled time of departure of 16:00:00. Not understanding a word of what she said, we took our seats, and became hysterical over what had just happened.

Before it got too dark, we walked out into the Autumn evening and began to explore the harbourfront area, on what was one of these 275 days of rain. Not one to moan about bad weather these days, we actually quite enjoy having some variation to the hot, hot and hotter mundane climate of the Middle East. To be honest, the rain came and went, and the dry patches in between, far outwayed the wet spells in the middle. Being that we were in such a prime fishing location, the opportunity to try some of the location cuisine was too good to miss, and so among other things, the Mussels in White Wine Sauce were a-mazing!

Early to rise the next morning, we weren't about to miss the train to begin our next big day of travelling. Bergen back to Oslo, via Voss to a boat to cruise along Sognefjord to Flåm. Next, back on the Flåmsbana vintage railway to Myrdal, considered to be one of the Top Ten Great Rail Journies in the World, and then finally arriving into Oslo at 22:30 that night. Despite the cooler temperatures of autumn, it is one of the most spectular times of year to visit a foreign place. The most brilliant range of colours rise across the mountainsides of trees, creating a sensory overload for this boy who is so used to the beige on beige of sandpit living. Cruising along Sognefjord reminded me so much of being in New Zealand's own Fjordland in the South Island. Huge gashes of the Earths surface from the Ice Ages have created rugged and severe water-filled inlets which only imagination can describe. Feeling approximately 1/7th of the age of most of the other Asian travellers on the boat, we downed a couple of hot drinks to rewarm ourselves up from the bitter wind off the nearby snowcovered peaks coming down through the Fjords.

Oslo itself we got to see in a nutshell. Literally. We had a morning to discover what the Norwegian Capital had to offer, so a couple of tramrides and a few hundred steps of walking, we discovered the almost erotic bronze statues that lined the bridges through Frognerparken. Life sized carvings of people doing all sorts of sordid things is quite the drawcard, evidently, as we strolled through listening to old Japanese ladies giggle over public displays of male anatomy. A quick walk back up through downtown Oslo to our hotel, and our Nordic adventure had come to an end. Despite our initial brush with our fiesty Bergen Bus Driver, this was a fabulous journey to an unknown land, and hope one day to visit again, including the other Scandanavian Countries that we are now both very eager to see; Denmark and Sweden.